Having a heart for children was part and parcel of who she was. She grew up as the oldest of ten children. And after her mother died, my great grandfather married again and fathered six more childen. I can remember some of her younger siblings saying, "Muriel was the only mother I ever knew." And they were as beloved to her as if they were her own children.
Mom said that when she was in elementary school she took her brother Glen to classes every day and cared for him while she was doing her lessons. Farm life was a wonderful life for children, but it was difficult. Cattle and crops do not wait until you have time for them. When it is time to tend them, it is time. It doesn't matter what the weather is doing or whatever else might be more fun. Work was done when the circumstances required it. And little children have needs that must be met, even when you are busy. By the time my grandmother was married at the age of sixteen, she had the skills necessary to manage a household and help with duties on the farm.
As she began to have children of her own, she required chores of them. But in some ways she was lenient with her children and took more upon herself so they could enjoy being children. For example, she limited the number of dishes her girls had to wash. She only had three children, but she could remember the drudgery of washing dishes for a family of ten children and as many farm hands or Sunday dinner guests might be at the table on a given day. She never wanted her daughters to feel that way about washing dishes!
She did not teach my mother and Aunt Iola how to milk a cow or dress a chicken. Her stated reason was "if they don't learn how, they will never have to do it." By contrast, several of the grandchildren learned how to dress a chicken and milk a cow! We loved it and I am sure she realized it was more like recreation than work to us. The world was changing, and she could see that.
Mom says she cannot imagine how Grammie allowed her and her siblings to take a picnic lunch and walk to Cary Lake for a swim. But they did it without incident. I said, "Mom, the world was a safer place then." And she replied, "yes, but the lake was just as deep." That is true!
Andrea and I -- and perhaps some of the others -- remember Gram making a beautiful chocolate cake with boiled icing. The icing was just like fudge on the cake. And being impatient kids, we would ask if we could pick off some icing. There were times that we ate ALL of the icing off the cake and Grammie just cooked up another batch, refrosted the cake, and served it to our Grandfather. He probably never knew the difference.
When we were teenagers, our parents must have been very pleased that our favorite hang-out was at our grandparents' home. Our grandfather had hugs and greetings for us, but he wasn't as sociable as our grandmother. Grammie has been known on many occasions to get out of bed and entertain her grandchildren and their friends. We would play Rook, eat popcorn or whatever else she had on hand, laugh and talk, and just enjoy companionship until midnight or later. I've seen her take a chicken out of the freezer, thaw it in her microwave, and take it out of the oven at 1 o'clock. Amazing!
Besides the fun and the social life, our grandmother was deeply involved in our spiritual lives. Every conversation ultimately turned to the Lord Jesus. She helped us memorize Bible verses. She taught us to pray. She shared the Gospel with us. She lived like Christ before us. She was there when I trusted in Jesus Christ as my Savior. Her example is burned into my heart. I wish I could be just one half the grandmother that she was.
Her nurturing and mentoring were not limited to her children and grandchildren. But her loving heart reached out to siblings, nieces & nephews, cousins, neighbors, members of the Church. Wherever she was, the hand of God was reaching out to others through her. Peers who went to the Lake Road Church when I was young were also encouraged by my grandmother to pray. When were were in prayer meeting, she could be heard during a pause calling one of our names to pray. And that is how we learned to pray in public, something that seems to be difficult for many people. At the time, we didn't always appreciate the way she pushed us, but we do now!
Mom was telling me the other night about Grammie's winter in Houlton. There was no public transportation for the kids to go to high school and one, particular winter our grandmother rented a place in Houlton and appointed herself as a surrogate parent -- a dorm mother. She had her own children there and many others. Mom was trying to count up all the teens who lived in that house for the winter and she came up with about 15 or more kids from all over Littleton and Monticello. They paid $10 a week apiece and some groceries to help with expenses. Can you imagine single-handedly keeping track of that many teens? Mom says that several of those people have told her that their winter with my grandmother was one of the highlights of their lives. I believe it!
When it came time for my mother to go to college, my grandfather thought that was totally unnecessary. Of course, she was a girl and would probably be a stay-at-home Mom and he thought she didn't need it. The economy was really bad at the time, with World War II looming on the horizon. I can understand his position. But Gram was an advocate for her child, who wanted to go to college. So she scrubbed floors, did laundry, worked in any way she could to help pay for my mother's tuition.
One thing I remember is large gatherings at various family homes for holidays or Sunday dinners. Whenever there were too many people for the table space in those days, the men generally ate first and then the women and children. Not at Grammie's house! Children were served first. My heart was impacted by that because it made me feel very important in her eyes. And, of course, I was important to her. All of us were. Grammie was always on the side of children, showing genuine love and concern for each and every one. I am thankful for having a godly grandmother, who loved me unconditionally in the good times and in the hard times.
__ Pictured above are Grammie Muriel and Grampie Ellery with my brother Brian and sister Carla. We think this picture was from 1957.
Grammie went to Heaven when I was 21, and I still miss her. She was a very godly woman with a great heart for encouragement.
ReplyDeleteSome of the memories that came to my mind reading this....
I remember once that we cousins were playing, chasing each other in her house, through the doorways--living room, kitchen, dining room, living room, kitchen, dining room, living room, kitchen, dining room.... Laughing and screeching and shouting, like kids will do unrestrained.
Our mothers were reprimanding us, and she said, "Now, look, you girls. [I was startled when she called my MOM and my AUNT "girls."] You did it when you were little, and this is my house, and they can do it, too. If you can't handle it, just run along and go shopping. I'll take care of the kids."
As I recall, our mothers did go shopping that day!
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I couldn't visit either Grammie Ruth or Grammie Muriel without either of them saying, "Now, does Grammie have anything you need, dear?"
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I had wonderful times going to antique stores and flea markets with Grammie Muriel, and sometimes Aunt Iola. Grammie's influence and encouragement in my love of history and old artifacts is one of the things that led me to become a bookseller.
She once gave me a 19th century photo album packed with old photographs and a few tintypes of unknown people. I treasured it, and eventually sold it on eBay to help my family.
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She had the most wonderful and interesting house I've ever visited. The pictures in my mind are vivid. Always things to look at, and she would never forbid us to touch.
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She had the best, most fun toy drawer for little kids. Many of the tiny toys in there were very old, and all were entrancing.
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Molasses taffy
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From the time I turned 15: "Well, I met your grandfather when I was 15, and we married when I was 16, and I was pregnant when I was 17. Don't you have a boyfriend yet?" And then lots of laughter!
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The very last time I ever played with a baby doll, I was at her house, and I was 12.
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I remember how cordial and kind she was to a man who was carrying a cross a very long distance, as some kind of evangelistic effort. She spotted him walking and invited him to eat. I was young, but I remember getting the impression that this man was a bit of an oddball, but to my grandmother, that was a chance for joy, someone else to love, and one more chance to talk about Jesus.
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I loved catching frogs from the pond behind her house. I was _scared_ of Uncle Lawrence's big pond, though.
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I remember crawling up her inside stairs and feeling nervous and afraid, and a man (I think my father) encouraging me that I could do it. I would guess I was about two. I have a couple of memories from about that time.
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My grandmother was always _interested_. She was interested in seeing, hearing, knowing. What fascinated us, fascinated her. She wanted to hear all about whatever we needed to tell.
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And just the joy of watching those last few landmarks and finally spotting her house. It was like the borderland for our people.