Your Parents Are Not Your Enemies

Marcia and Amber

You know, it is tough to grow up. It really is. And it is so tough to listen. You don't remember, but the fact is this: it didn't take you long to find out that you did not like the big "N" word. And it didn't take you long to learn how to protest very loudly if Mom or Dad looked you in the eye and said, "NO". Even as a baby, you were beginning to question the wisdom of your parents. (How dare they say "no"?)

Kevin and Hope

That was just the beginning! Another thing that you didn't know is that you were questioning the wisdom of someone way bigger and way more intelligent than Dad and Mom. You were questioning the wisdom of God, himself. For it is GOD who planned the family as a place to be safe, a place to learn, a place to grow, and a place to prepare for your own family someday.

Jeannie and Samuel

I just want you to hear right now that there is NOBODY in all the world who knows you as well as your Mom and Dad. And there is NOBODY who cares as much about your health, your safety, your happiness, your success, and your spiritual life as your parents. They pray for you, they cry over you, they hope for you, they advise you. Grandchildren: please listen to them!

Jonathan and Robert

Your parents welcomed you into their home and cared for you in the best way they could. They gave up a LOT of what they might have just selfishly had for themselves in order to take care of you and to bring you joy. Right now, it is not possible to know how much LOVE has been poured out for you. But one day, when you have children of your own, you will know it. You will have in your care someone who means more to you than life itself. Oh, parents say YES as often as they can. They want to give to you. They want your childhood to be as delightful as possible. But more than that, they want you to grow and mature and be a blessing to others all of your life. They want you to make good choices about school, a job, a spouse. They have seen a lot of life and their wisdom is a treasure stored up to share with you. Take advantage of the gift of Mom and Dad and learn from them. They are GIFTS of GOD to you -- just as YOU are gifts of God to them. Treasures, dear grandchildren!

Tidbits of Advice



Cousin Kaysen DeMerchant



You were not a surprise to God! He knew you before He even made the world. Before you were growing inside of your Mom, God knew what you would look like. He knew your name. He knew everything about you.  So be a thankful person! Thank Him for giving life to you. Look for ways to live a life that is pleasing to Him. It's the only way to really LIVE.

Matthew Sykes and Grammie Ruth

It is so sad that we live in an angry world. There is fighting and war everywhere. The TV shows are violent, games are violent, there are bullies in the school. People are selfish and they very often do not care what happens to others. But God wants us to stop thinking about those things. He wants us to think about Him and think about His love for us. He wants us to think about being kind and loving to others.  God has promised that we will be contented and peaceful we have our focus on Him. Ask Him to help you keep your thoughts right.

Samuel and Robert Buza at Cary Lake

One thing Grampie and I have found is it is a lot more fun to get along than to be arguing and fighting. When one of us is grouchy, the other one is sad. But when we try to be kind to each other and help each other out, it is a happy home! And even if one of us is wrong, we have learned to forgive each other. We should be that way with other people, too. What is the sense of being mad? Most of the time it is because we are selfish and want our own way. God says to get along!

Our Front Walk in Glenburn

I love the walk that Uncle Jonathan helped build in front of our house. It is especially nice in the spring time so we aren't sinking in the mud! But in the summer we have flowers growing there. We have several colors of Day Lillies and some other flowers. Some come up every year and others we find at the various stores and just plant them there to enjoy all summer long. It is good to have things pretty on the outside of our home. It makes people feel welcome. But it is better to have things nice on the inside where we live. It isn't fun to have someone over for a lunch or to watch a movie if it is all messy inside. Having things cleaned up and looking nice makes us happy and relaxed and it just gives us a lot of joy. But what about our lives? We can dress up and fix our hair and look really nice. But if we are grouchy inside or if we are thinking mean things about people, we need to be cleaned up! The Bible says that people look at us on the outside, but GOD looks at the heart. So we need to repent and confess our sin and God will clean us up from all the wrong and make us nice inside, too. That is the most important.

More From Our Family Gallery

Kelsey at Port Jervis, NY

Gramp and I can tell you for certain that the happiest moments of our lives are when we are paying attention to the LORD and obeying what we know He has for us. Living within God's will is not complicated or mysterious. We believe it is a matter of paying attention to the Bible, trusting the Lord, and praying over everything. We believe the Lord will give us opportunities to serve Him and He will give us peace about His will and His way.

Hope and Rachel Scrapbooking at Our House

People do not have to wait until they are grown up to follow Jesus. God has given children an amazing ability to have faith in Him. That is, they trust the Lord and believe what He says. They don't need a lot of explanations of where, why, and how. They take God at His word and trust that what He says is true. God wants all of us to be that way, from the youngest to the oldest. He wants all of us to trust that He knows best. After all, God has given each one of us life. He knows us far better than we know ourselves.

Heather Pours Drinks For Her Sisters at Delavan

One way to do the will of God is to simply help others. Even a child can do that.  Just serving a little sibling as Heather is doing in this picture prepares a person to do more acts of service as they grow up. We believe Heather has a heart of a servant. Her opportunity to help the handicapped did not begin recently. It grew over a lifetime of being faithful to help others around her. And that is something everyone can do.

Kristen Prepares Breakfast at Home

Serving others cheerfully is one thing we will do as we grow to be more and more like Jesus. We know from reading the Bible that He came to this earth to serve. In the New Testament we read about Him healing the sick, feeding the hungry, raising the dead, and teaching the truth. The main thing He did was come to this earth to die on the cross for sinners.

Jesus did not look forward to the suffering part, but he willingly gave Himself to be sacrified on the cross in order to satisfy the debt that we owe to God for our sin. The penalty was death and He paid it -- he paid it ALL because He loves us. Read John 3:16 and be reminded of how wonderful the love of Jesus is to US.

How Excited Are We?

Recently I watched an incredible video -- it brought me to tears and it crushed my heart as I realized very acutely that we take some of our richest treasures for granted. We all do that and it is a tragedy.

The video was about a tribe of people from Papua, Indonesia. This tribal group had never been able to read the Bible for themselves because it had never been translated into their language. But the wondrous day had come and all of the village was gathered about an air strip where New Testaments would finally be delivered to them. Villagers were dancing and displaying feathers and other finery. Excitement mounted as the plane approached, landed, and taxied to a halt. Two men sedately approached the plane and received the cases of God's Word in their language. An elder offered a prayer of thanksgiving. What an amazing scene! The entire village celebrated!

During an interview, one woman spoke of the blessing of being able to read the Bible to her children and her grandchildren. She said that after the adults are all gone, the children will be able to share the Bible with their children as well. What an invaluable inheritance they now have for their families.

How about us? We have many Bibles in our homes. Our parents, grandparents, and great grandparents always had access to the Bible in English. Other forebears speaking different languages (German, French, Spanish, Austrian, etc) were also privileged to have the Bible available to them. Do we cherish the Bible? Are we thankful we have this spiritual bread to nourish our souls? Or do we take this wonderful privilege for granted? People were burned at the stake and imprisoned so that WE could hold this precious book in our hands and read it with our own eyes.

As symbols of this blessing, I have been putting together some Scripture with family pictures as a symbol of the grace of God toward us. Grandchildren and others, we ought to be excited that WE have this Word for daily feasting!

  Keep watching! I will be adding more Scriptures and beautiful pictures of "persons, places, and things."

Would you think about these verses and  meditate on the beauty of the Bible and on the life that God wants to give each one of us. 

Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and understandting so that you can know and

do His will. And thank HIM for the incredible gift of having the Bible in English. And the ability to read and understand it.

Gramp and I will probably not have much in the way of material goods to leave behind when we die and go to Heaven. But we want to leave you something that is way more valuable.   

It is our greatest desire that we will be faithful in teaching you and showing you the wondrous grace of God. We hope you come to the place of trusting the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior and that you will live for Him in the now and in the forever.

The things of this world are just temporary, but the life of Christ is forever -- it is eternal. We know Him, His salvation, His love, and the joy of living in the light of His glory, we wait for Heaven. We pray that our family will all join us there!

Mother -- A Trust and A Calling

What do I say about my mother and motherhood in general. Stories about motherhood range from the sublime to the hilarious.

Our view of motherhood sees it as a TRUST. God entrusts us with his beloved, little creations so they might grow and develop and live out the plan that He has for them. We are to love and nurture and cherish the little ones who are sent into our families. We are to see that they are well fed, educated, and that they develop good character as they prepare to live in this world as adult members of society.

And it is a calling. The Christian mother is to teach and model the wonderful Gospel of the Lord Jesus every day before her children. She is a missionary, a teacher, an evangelist. And her ministry is to prepare children for God's Kingdom. She is to share God's Word and His love and to be an example of the believer to her family.

The mother I have known the longest is my own (imagine that)! My Momma has been one of my best friends as well as an authority in my life. Motherhood started for her, formally, on July 2, 1943 when I was delivered by C section. For 5 1/2 years I was the ONLY child. Being the first child, the first grandchild, the first niece, etc was a privilege. I really got a LOT of attention in those days. And I have some GREAT memories of it.

But, as with everyone else, life was not all sunshine and roses. When I was only 13 and Mom was only 34, she was widowed. Suddenly -- on November 8, 1956 -- we went from a rather comfortable little family on the farm to a struggling family -- struggling with loneliness, fear, and for me it was a struggle watching Mom carry all of the responsibility for a home and four children. It was the struggle of seeing Mom in tears, seeing her tired. I ached for her. (This picture was probably taken of us about six months after Mom was widowed.)

At that point in life, I became more of a companion than a daughter (in my mind). I felt a responsibility to help Mom, to keep her company, to do all I could to soothe the hurt that she was experiencing. It was a hard burden for a young teenager, but I would have had it no other way. It was a matter of honor and a matter of keeping my word to my Dad. Only a few weeks before he died he talked to me on a Sunday afternoon. He told me he had a feeling he wouldn't be around much longer and that when he died it would be very hard on my mother. He said Mom would be hurt enough and that I should be sure to never do anything to hurt her more. And when the accident happened and my Mom was widowed, it was already firmly planted in my heart, "I must do this", "I must not do that", etc. "I cannot hurt Mom."

I thank the Lord for that mandate because I am quite sure my teenaged life could have been different without that promise -- that compelling reason to care for Mom. My regret is that I should have wanted to live my life carefully to please the LORD first and Mom second. But though I was a Christian at the time, my focus was on Mom more than on the Lord. In thinking of it, I realize it was probably a maturity issue and a weak faith -- Mom was the one I could SEE.

I was very thankful when Mom remarried in 1961. It was wonderful for her to have a companion and for my brothers to have a man in their lives. It was so good to see her happy and cared for by a man who was truly a partner in every way. He cared deeply for her children and stepped naturally into the husband and father roles -- something new for him. Grampie Jim is the grandfather that my children knew on my side of the family. And I am very happy for them. He was delightful, always kidding with them and making them feel loved. In 1990, Mom was widowed again. This time we expected it, for Jim was ill with heart and lung diseases. He is SO missed!

On Mother's Day, 2011 my siblings and I were with Mom -- it was her 67th Mother's Day! That is a long time to be a mother, isn't it?

That was a great day for all of us! We have many reasons to be thankful. Most of all because Mom realizes that her role in life has been a trust and a calling. She has done her best to honor the Lord, to live a godly life before us, to reach us with the Gospel of Christ, to love us and care for us. I tell Mom that she is truly a survivor. She survived the great depression; she survived the separation when my Dad was drafted into the military during World War II; she survived the illnesses that plagued her when we were young (mostly phlebitis recurring in her legs); she survived the death of our father; she survived raising FOUR children; she survived Jim's illness, being widowed a second time, and living alone for many years, now. 

She is brave. She never gives up. She serves the Lord faithfully. She loves the Word of God. She is a champion mother and grandmother. She is a prayer warrior. I'd like to take just one of those things and do it well!

Sometimes What Seems Right Is Wrong

We have friends and loved ones in several states and communities who are in "hurting" relationships -- some within families, some within Churches. I have been doing a lot of thinking and have been in prayer about that. Some are choosing to stay with abusive situations -- others cut and run.

We realize that sometimes it is necessary to just leave a situation because it is abusive and dangerous. But with Christians that should only ...be done as a last resort. Our marriages are seen as analogous to the relationship between Christ and the Church. Our Churches are seen as a living organism, a Body! We must take this seriously and always, "as much as lies in you, live at peace with all. . ."

If you are in that kind of stress and conflict, you might be interested in our story -- the story from when we were young and foolish (now we say we are old and foolish, but I do hope that our experience helps SOMEbody in SOME way. I pray that is the case.

Years ago, when we were in our thirties, we left our Church. There was an issue going on that we just couldn't agree on. And, as with so many differences, it became a hurtful, devisive thing. And WE obsessed about it. In our heart of hearts we felt that it would be better for the Church AND for us if we just parted company. We felt that staying with the attitude we had would do more harm than good. So we left.

But we were wrong. The LEAVING was hurtful. It was like a divorce. . . or even worse than that. It was like a death but we never had a proper funeral. People were thinking: JESUS is still here; the WORD is still preached; WHY do they feel they cannot worship with us? There was so much grief -- for them and for us. We didn't know how they were feeling until years later when we went back and we never did tell them how we were feeling because by then it was no longer relevant. We were just glad to be home.

We still do not know who was right about the issue, but the issue is gone -- it was a temporary problem. But the issue is -- and was -- beside the point. The real point is that we were tempted and manipulated with a circumstance that caused pain and division that should never have occurred. I am just glad that God is gracious and that He is able to heal and forgive.

If you are ever in similar circumstances, I want you to know we love you and we continually pray that God will give you comfort and peace. We are also praying that "God will make a way where there seems to be no way. . . " . Take a look at Proverbs 3:5-6. We need GOD'S wisdom, not our own. I can think of no better advice!

When Troubles Come

OUR DIFFICULT DAYS: Grandchildren, there will always be times of sickness, trouble, grief, and stress in our lives. We cannot escape them. They are inevitable as we live in this broken world. All nature groans for the day that Jesus cleans up this world and restores everything that humankind and the devil have "messed up".

 

Someone said something recently -- or I read it somewhere -- that when we pray for difficulties to go away, we may be asking GOD to take away the very things that He is using in our lives to make us more like Jesus. So today I am asking the Lord to help me embrace the challenges of today and the coming days. I'm asking Him to give me a godly attitude as we see in James chapter... one:

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

We ought to ask ourselves some questions: What is it that we want most? Do we want our own way and lives of ease and comfort? Or do we want to be the people that God has created us to be? Do we want to escape from the grief of this life (which is only temporary anyway)? Or do we want to be used of God to show His grace to others?

There is a lot of soul searching going on here in my heart -- and I am thinking of a song called "To Be Used Of God". Here is the refrain:

“To be used of God, to sing, to speak, to pray
To be used of God, to show someone the way
I long so much to feel the touch of His consuming fire
To be used of God is my desire.” ~Audrey Mieir

 

** This picture is of Samuel and Robert Buza, just "chilling" at a family reunion