I REALLY wanted to marry your grandfather! He was a fine, Christian man and kind. I believed he would make a wonderful husband and father -- and grandfather.
But I wanted to be SURE he was right for me. And who would know that better than my Mom. So when he asked I said, "yes". But I told him he needed to get my Mom's permission. That was VERY important to me.
He was scared, but he wrote to her and Grampie Jim. The response is good for YOU to see, as well, for you all will have (or now have) similar decisions to make:
Dear Wayne,
We received your letter yesterday. I have never answered a request of this type before.
We appreciate your consideration of us as Brenda’s parents. This fact is very commendable, and we admire you for it. This is a time, Wayne, when we find it difficult to answer in either the affirmative or negative. We shall hold this position that we won’t be "losing" our daughter, but we will be "gaining" a son. I assure you, Wayne, we are very happy to feel that we have faith in both yours and Brenda’s judgement. I’m certain you have prayed over the matter, as I have. Also knowing that you are both walking in the sunshine of God’s love, assures me that "all things work together for good to them that love God."
As parents, our greatest concern is that you love Brenda and she loves you enough to want to live your lives together, united as one.
Of course, as all parents, we find it hard to realize the fact that our daughters and sons are "grown-up" enough to marry, and to accept the responsibilities of marriage. We know that marriage is really adult. However, it is natural to feel that our children are still "little girls and boys." We accept the fact, too, that they must grow up, so to speak, and we must have faith to trust that they have. Sentimental? Just a pull at parents’ hearts. We don’t mean to be selfish with our love, or over-protective, either. We really do want happiness and love for you both. Our loved ones here are only a loan from God, and we want for them the life God has planned for them.
Wayne, I really say this with all sincerity -- we couldn’t ask for more for Brenda than what you have to offer her. We hold you in high esteem for your love for her, for your Christian life, your wonderful parents to provide love and help for her, and your consideration of us. I pray, too, that we may be "your other parents" -- not merely "in-laws". We want you to know, too, that we shall consider you as a son, as Brenda is our daughter.
You thought your letter was "a mess". Wayne, we loved the informality of it, and the thought in it. Now I feel I’ve made a "mess" of this one. Just remember the central point in it -- that we trust the judgement and love of both you and Brenda, and that we will accept them in saying to you, "may God bless you both, and may your love for each other grow greater, and may you trust in God more fully than ever before in your lives."
With Love and Prayers,
Ruth & Jim Williams
I know that if you have this love of yours, and you have your love for God, you have the zenith of power that will make a perfect life together, and that will give you courage to face any of life’s problems and discouragements together. There will be problems, perhaps not so much between you, as situations and circumstances that seem beyond our control. Therefore, it is so wonderful to know that you won’t be starting this completely new life alone, but with God as your guide and counsellor.
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